The biggest fear of our children is uncertainty and insecurity. The child, who does not know his / her limits, suffers from not knowing what is right and what is wrong and in which situations the right thing can be wrong.Rules must be specificChildren who are uncertain about the rules to be taught in the family. As a result, he either shows a rebellious attitude and tends to violence or gives up and closes. The message ün You are free to do anything you want z does not give happiness to a child. On the contrary, since the limits of his freedom are not set, he is surprised by his fear of making mistakes and being punished. The child tries to create his personal morality by understanding what is right and what is wrong from his parents' actions and attitudes. If parents do the opposite of what they say, they observe and imitate their actions. Consistency is importantInconsistency reduces the child's confidence and he or she may begin to adopt a similar attitude. For this reason, it is important to be in harmony between what we say and what we do and to make it a rule not to lie next to our child. Mother and father's harmony is also very important for the child. The child becomes unbalanced if the other imposes a punishment. He can approach the permissive side and develop a hostile attitude towards the other. Freedom of errorMaking mistakes is the development. Every child should have the freedom to make mistakes so that they can gain life experience. Enduring the consequences of their actions is also a basic condition for taking responsibility. There is a mistake in our society in the way we approach our children in general. If the child commits an unwanted act or makes an indecent word, he is first slapped or scolded; she begins to cry and is held by the mother or father who cannot bear tears. If we examine it in stages; the child takes an action or discourse. This action or discourse is inappropriate. If family members are doing similar behaviors or making profanity words with children, it is up to you to blame the child. That it is not; Assuming that the child has acquired this attitude from outside, it is not correct that the reaction of the parents will involve physical or verbal violence. The child's fear, surprise and cry is a natural situation. Emotional blackmail mother or father who can not submit to hugs, kisses, smells. An impression is created as if nothing had happened a minute ago. If such attitudes are repeated continuously; the parent who reacts or punishes undertakes the calming process; if one punishes and calms the other, the child develops a sense of insecurity resulting from inconsistency. Negative resultsIt is normal for an individual to expect affection after each negative behavior, to enter into an expectation of the same kind after being an adult, to identify punishment with love, to tend to violence unless it is met, or to be withdrawn. Unfortunately; the reason why there are so many violent individuals in our society; unconscious and inconsistent approaches of parents in childhood.