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To Neurologist Mehmet Yavuz from Reem Neuropsychiatry Center by; Marriage, a social institution of 4 thousand years; while others can be dreams, others can be nightmares. This institution, which is a necessity for the majority, has exhausted some couples over time and marriage may result in frustration. Nowadays, although the first excuse of couples is 'severe incompatibility', it is one of the factors that lead individuals to unhappiness; they are not reconciled with them and have expectations that are far beyond their capacities.
Get to know them before you decide to get married!
The first 1 year, the next 6 years and the 20th year of marriage belirten In the case of sudden marriages, the risk of divorce in the first year is greater than those who had engaged in the marriage period. Mehmet Yavuz, suddenly began to live in the same house and get to know each other married and divorced within the first year if they are not compatible, he stressed. In addition, the relationship between those who stay engaged for some time with arranged dates can be a bit more robust than dating marriage because of the choices and experiences of family elders. At this point, it is important that family elders step in and mediate between couples. Mehmet Yavuz reminds us that there is no numerical difference between arranged marriage and dating marriage in divorces after the 20th year.
Some suggestions for happy marriages
In a scientific study, every 100 people are asked to look at one of the opposite sex without moving, and the result is surprising bazıları Some couples looking at each other's faces decide to fall in love and get married. Dr. According to Mehmet Yavuz; just like in these researches, couples should look at each other's faces for at least 5 minutes each day.
Mutual empathy is also an important factor in the conduct of marriage. In psychology 'self-actualization of pre-acceptance' referring to the law. Mehmet Yavuz, if a person has any prejudice on any subject, says that after a while the preliminary acceptance of the law began to improve itself. Acting by putting yourself in the place of your wife often results in problems being resolved before they begin.
What should be done for a healthy marriage?
Know the value of what you have
Know the value of your health, your family, your children, your friends. Make common friends with your partner.
Do not set goals for your happiness
Do not set goals such as buying a house, a car, having a child, or being happy when something else happens. Happiness is a destination, not a long journey.
Don't listen to every criticism
If you live according to the critics and suggestions of the people around you, you can't live for yourself.
Do not be susceptible to errors: Errors should be ignored unless repeated. If you don't say what you see, it flies away from your memory, if you say it, it will be in your memory. Do not mention every negativity.
Take your marriage time
Couples should try to eat dinner together and have a long breakfast pleasure together on Sunday mornings. A couple of times a month, concerts, movies, theater, if not this should go to a picnic, travels should be returned to the spouses.
Trying to support people in need together will reinforce the sense of togetherness. This gives the team spirit to the relationship and ensures that the relationship moves on the right line.
Loneliness is not a choice
While the number of people living alone in the world was 153 million in 1996, in 2011; 277 million. According to research, the number of people living alone in the world has increased by 55% in the last 15 years and people are more afraid of getting married than they are now.
Specialist According to Mehmet Yavuz; The fact that both of the spouses are working is one of the reasons that lead to a divorce. He reminded the working woman that the lack of help from the man in the household increases the corruption and that it is exhausting that working women have two different roles at home in the professional field. When the working woman spends time at home, her career is in danger, and she neglects her home when she starts her career. When he spends more time at work, spouses may not understand it. According to all these reasons, there are 6 times more divorce cases in women who do not work. Mehmet Yavuz, the share of economic freedom in this is great, he added.
All couples do not think that they will get divorced in the future when they get married and decide to overcome various difficulties. In order not to divorce in the future, being both restorative and forgiving on both sides indicates that they can conduct their marriage in a long process with respect and love. Dr. Yavuz, couples who can not cope with the problems of applying for help from an expert suggests.