Say No to Your Children

Say No to Your Children

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Setting rules The most difficult issues for parents are the things to do before, during and after behavior to ensure that the rules are established. DBE Institute of Behavioral Sciences describes how to create disciplinary rules:

The discipline created for the family members to live according to a certain order is generally all the measures taken in order to ensure that people comply with the general thoughts and behaviors of the community in which they live. This means measures that are appropriate to the values, thoughts and behaviors of the house and family, including behaviors that should and should not be done, that is, an order of behavior. Healthy and conscious regulation of situations such as evening bedtime, eating order, watching TV, brushing teeth is not blocking restriction, but creating a system of orderly living. The discipline of some families is more rigid, while others are more flexible. What is important here is how this order is made. There are things to do before, during and after behavior to ensure that rules are established. DBE Institute of Behavioral Sciences describes how to create disciplinary rules:

Before the behavior;

• Preventive explanation, teach the rules (how uncomfortable you are crying in the street asking for something, how to behave)

• Change the environment and condition. (As soon as we go out of the street to meet the need to take a toilet to avoid the need to call the toilet to eat, eat at the time of eating difficult to eat before eating junk food or change the meal time)

• To be an example (to be a model as a parent. Parents who do not have the habit of reading books expect their children to read books, parents who do not want their children to speak abusive, such as abusive, slang)

• Teaching the stages (how realistic is your expectation of collecting your room? You have to teach gradually how to collect your room. Cars here, this is the box of Legos, you have to help)

During the problem;

• Trying to understand the real reason. (There may be a disability or other desires and needs under the condition that creates the problem for the child. The child who wants to sleep with his parents because of fear may also need an unsatisfied love.)

• Offer alternatives (buy similar childrens' items if she mixes your makeup, buy another one if she scratches her sister's book)

• Expressing your emotions (“I feel sorry when you don't eat, I think you can't eat.” Zaman When you hit your friend, it hurts, she gets very upset.)

After the problem;

• Evaluating the results (“Look, you can't find the toy you're looking for when your room isn't in bulk.”)

• Allowing the child to paint the wall, cleaning the wall.

Parents' common attitude in developing these strategies, one saying no to the other saying yes, will help develop behaviors that are desired to be determined and consistent. “Come on, let me do it this time.” “Al just shut up!” Approaches are inconsistent. Messages given to the child are mixed; the child has difficulty in understanding what is right and what is wrong. It encourages trial and rebellion and prevents learning and responsibility.

What mistakes do they make the most?

The definition of error should be evaluated according to the age, temperament and family structure of the child. A child who kicked his parents 3-4 years old, showed him his anger so that you could be pissed and thrown away.

Often annoying the parent, crying to specify their wishes, restless crying for no reason, hitting friends, bite, dirty talk to damage the household goods, toilet training at home to do on the floor, next to someone else to exhibit different behaviors, behavior, such as not eating.

The continuation of these errors are the following approaches of families;

  • The belief that the unwanted behavior of the child will pass spontaneously after a while
  • Annoying repetitions and reminders that cause children to ignore parents
  • Speeches, lectures, speeches
  • Ignore the wrong behavior, suggesting approval
  • Unclear directives (ay play well with each other güzel)

At what point should the child be called “no??

In cases where you exceed your acceptance limits, where you teach the rule before the behavior, and frequently repeated situations, a stable and consistent “no” will begin the reorganization of the behavior. No means punishment. It is an attitude towards the child.

“No düşünül should be considered according to the age, personality and special circumstances of the child. The child should be told the reason for the rules. Expected behavior should be explained, which behavior should be taught in a clear language. The child should be given an active role and responsibility in the implementation of the rules. Expected behaviors or those close to them and their efforts should be appreciated.

What are the benefits and harms of saying no to some of your requests?

Restrictive limits and excessive control give the child little freedom to try and explore. A purely adult control prevents the child from developing self-control. It prevents learning and responsibility, and encourages rebellion in children.

“Nos” teach children the limits and make them satisfied with what they have. There is a healthy distribution of responsibility and freedom among family members. The rights of parents and children are guaranteed. All parties know in advance what they will encounter in case of violation of the limits. He knows he can't reach the crying toy. Increases learning and responsibility, organizes cooperation and relationships.

How can the child get rid of the psychology of guilt when the parent does not fulfill the child's wishes?

The psychology of guilt is to believe you've done wrong. The results of the approaches that will ensure the self-control of the child will show that the parent is doing it correctly. If the problem persists, it is either too strict, inconsistent or unlimited. It provides the necessary methods for limiting the child, preventing wrong behaviors and teaching the rules clearly and comprehensibly. When healthy borders are set, there will be no need for advice, threats, penalties and bribes. Children want to understand the rules of the world they live in and need it. They want to know what is expected of them, where they stand with people, how far they can go and what they will encounter when they go too far. This is how they reach cause and effect relationships. Who defines parent who limits relationships? Who kid? And limits provide security. Children ask their parents to be “parents”. They expect their parents to be determined to set limits and to provide the limits to which they can trust.


  1. Chunta

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  2. Brabar

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  3. Hoben

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  4. Tobie

    This remarkable idea, by the way, just falls

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