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The most beautiful thing for them; Daughters Smell
Dilek - Levent Açlan to be the owner of the couple;Ultu The hum that you cannot hear and understand in any way turns into a clear voice in your head and a clear word or sentence in the pen or the child is born at that moment. In fact, the story is a bit like this, so thinking is separate, living is separate. ”
- Can we get to know you?
I'm 27 years old. I was born in 1991 in Samsun. As a result of a wrong operation at the age of three, I became visually impaired.
I started primary school at the age of 7 at the visually impaired school in Tokat. After staying in Tokat for 8 years, I went back to Samsun and went to high school.
I won the Faculty of Letters at Karadeniz Technical University. I quit school when I won the civil service. After working at Samsun Dental Hospital for five years, I got married and came to Istanbul.
When we first came to Istanbul, we lived in Sarıyer for a while. We have a baby and we live in Alibeyköy. I'm going to ask for my appointment here, while I graduated from the Department of Sociology at Anadolu University.
- How did you decide to be a mother?
At first, my mother insisted that she would have a baby with her longing for being a grandmother… Then we thought about this idea with my wife, we decided to gather ourselves and our situation, and when the conditions matured, we said we could think of a baby and Ela joined us.
- How did the pregnancy change your life?
At first I didn't have much trouble except nausea. You always wanted someone with you during your pregnancy or that's why I missed a family.
My wife was there all the time and was supportive but emotionally I called my family more. I wanted them to be with me during pregnancy. It was never possible because they were far away.
- Have you had any psychological changes in your pregnancy?
Contact Dilek directly Which doctors will be more psychological concerns? Which hospital? How will it be born? What do I do when I hold her? How will I do? How do I look? Shape was.
Now that you're always around and you have to take care of him, we're psychologically affected and worried that I don't know what you're going to do, how you're going to do it.
Levent Açlan: With what you see before something happens, it's different after it happens.
It's like a lottery, dream, truth separate I'm not saying that with a negative or positive meaning.
Having a different look in itself is different in that sense olm
- How was your birth?
Contact Dilek directly I gave birth normally. It was hard for me. My birthday is over the weekend. I wonder if he was still a doctor until the moment of birth? That hospital, though? Unfortunately, because we did not make a decision and we had problems while choosing our doctor and hospital during this process, we questioned the hospital even the night before the birth.
It was a difficult process in this sense, but it was a birth in two or three hours. If I think of the second birth, I can say with my experience that I am more conscious this time;During the birth, my psychologist should be with the trainer and physician from whom I received the exercises.It's important that the people around you are the people who won't stress you.
I wanted her to be with my wife at birth, but it wasn't possible.
- How did you feel when you first held your baby?
IN: An entity you can't see and only touch. I kissed her on the cheek first, did it come out of my body, now this baby of ours… At that moment you feel strange but beautiful.
L.: I experienced the pain of my wife as much as I heard in front of the door. Inevitably you get excited. I caught my daughter in her arms and kissed her first hair. I was glad that my wife finally got rid of the pains.
But I didn't wonder how my child was, and I still don't. We look at this point differently.I look more at Ela's skin, I look at her hair, I smell her. There is a lot of people who forget what they see. He's so focused on what he sees, it's news of what is actually what he sees.
He's your kid! You don't own him, you're his companion, his observer, his family until he grows up. We are our child growth in love we want.
- How much support did you receive from your environment when raising your baby?
My first supporter during and after my birth was my mother. After 2-3 months after birth came to our side for a while I went to Samsun with my family. My family has had a lot of support but after 3 months we started to take care of ourselves.
- Does your partner help you?
My wife Ela's help with changing the diapers, taking baths, walking around Ela, moving with us when we go to a place together, sleeping Ela.
L.: (Levent Bey is objecting here) my wife is unfair to me about washing my daughter. I think I washed my daughter first because my wife loves to wash my daughter does not make me wash.
- As your baby grows, how do you prepare yourself and your baby for this process?
L.: When rioting, the covers for sockets in the house, corner protector for table corners and a thin carpet for the corridor of our house or locks for cabinet doors…
Measures to be taken in order to prevent possible problems. Our child especially spiritual, intellectual development going to daycare. Ela is a lively child and we no longer leave her alone in bed or sofa.
- What are your difficulties as a visually impaired mother?
It's a little hard to eat outside. You have your own formulas in your house (drape, gown, etc.), but the biggest problem we have to eat outside.
Now this distress BLW method We can solve this by giving food to your hands
L.: We are generalizing a visually impaired mother, but each mother has her own difficulties. You are observed by the people around you. For example, one day Ela and I went out and aunt came Lum Son, how do you carry that child, you drop him ” said. I've heard that many times.
When you think about it, he actually says; “You have a wand in your hand, you can barely walk this baby, how do you walk this baby, or if he falls from there” says. You are more comfortable at home than outside…
Educated or uneducated, there is a certain perception of society, there is a certain profile in the head… Not all visually impaired people are the same!
- What are your recommendations to expectant mothers and mothers?
IN: I advise them to go to the birth psychologist during pregnancy and I think it works very well. Research the birth process in the best way they can and decide where they will give birth.
My biggest mistake, perhaps, is that I do not do research on breastfeeding, so I advise them to do research on breastfeeding and get the necessary support.
They should definitely avoid stress during the postpartum period and stress affects a lot. They need to watch their sleep and not tire themselves out. They need care in their baby, but they must remember that they need to sleep and listen.
Interview and Photos: Zeynep Tokgöz