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Late Sleep of BabiesThe issue of late bedtime is a way of maintaining the night-day rhythm of sleep. When it comes to sleep order, on the other hand cultural and social a topic.
In many cultures, the normal children's bedtime is around 19.00, while in Mediterranean cultures like us, this paralel normal paralel parallel to the flow of life can reach around 21.00.
Of course, we add the individuality of the child's own metabolism and need as a factor to this social-cultural dynamic. As a result, on average, as long as he gets enough sleep and spends his day active and peaceful, sleep a comfortable time zone for children.
Last but not least, I believe that we should add individual family and living conditions to this definition. For example, I find it very tolerable for parents who come too late from work to stretch their children's bedtime a little, but of course this process can be tolerated. meeting the need for sleep and should be managed in a situation that is not too late.
Infants Sleep Time and Order Problem?
The first thing we will look at in late-lying children is the hours of sleep in the general day stream.
Late Starts and Late Ends
These children actually get enough night's sleep, even the wakefulness periods are the same on average and they are happy during the day but they start late because they start late in the day.
If there is such a table, then I say let's take the morning awakening forward in a very slow and compassionate process. It is necessary to wake up as early as half an hour and to shift the day regularly with 15-20 min in infants every 3 days.Let us wake up tenderly with a light curtain, the natural movements and footsteps in the room fondly and stroking, Let's do it by seeing your smiling face when you open your eyes. Do not force if the child is not waking up while trying to do so, it may be in the deep phase of sleep, try again a little later.
In rare cases, the daytime sleep of children can be very long and shortens the night's sleep to the extent that it forces the child.
In fact, the child cannot bear the short sleep at night and compensates during the day. In such cases, it is also necessary to gradually reduce daytime sleep gradually in a gradual and compassionate manner, and to slowly advance nighttime sleep in parallel to this.
All about daytime sleep in babies! You can read our article. Click.
// www. / Baby in daytime-sleep-in-all-things-right /
Very little sleeping babies and children during the day, in fact forced and lost balance with excessive fatigue a nervous system Since they deal with, they dive hard.
So the subject started as a subject of time, but because it can not dive shift of night's sleep has become. I explained below how to approach this issue.
In any case, if the child is late at night because of an hour and order, these transitions should be managed as a process, spread over time, and handled gradually.
Let's not forget; In the meantime, this type of order is always broken, here without intervening in the child's own rhythm respect and trust We must protect. They have the ability to listen and understand their bodies better than we do.
The interventions I have mentioned above should only be processes to break this if there is a problem of late bedtime, and under all circumstances be compassionately managed.
Finally, we should add that there will always be social activities in our lives. Children can be in the car, sometimes at night, sometimes at dinner, sometimes at dinner, sometimes on the street. It is important that they do not happen every day (except holidays) to get a comfortable sleep, but when we are in the natural flow of life, the only thing we need to protect is timing.
No matter where it is, it is important to support the baby / child to sleep when the time comes to sleep. This can sometimes be in the stroller, sometimes in the back room, sometimes in a car seat.
When she comes home, she goes on in her bed, sometimes she may experience a sleep interruption and we need to put her back to sleep.
In a nutshell, you don't have to lock yourself up every night so that you can sleep at night, life goes on and getting in is part of development and growth.
Have we started the process at the right time for night's sleep?
Many of us live in the most active hours of the day before night's sleep. Meals, parents coming home from work, maybe guests, maybe media outlets, rushed bathrooms…
How realistic is it to expect the babies and children to calm down and even give sleep signals when the energy of the house and the caregivers are high?
These moments are probably the most tired moments, the most difficult moments of tolerance. So sometimes even if the child gives a signal, we may not be able to see it. For these reasons sleep signals can escape and actually sleep transition processes We start late.
In this case, even diving may be difficult and even later we can face a child lying down. For this reason, it is necessary to lower the rhythm of the house at the last hour before sleep, to create space for a peaceful sharing with parents, and to allow the child to hear and signal his own body.
Is it the Issue of Unmet Physical and Emotional Needs?
How a child spends the day, what opportunities he has for his development (social, emotional, cognitive her) in every sense is one of the most fundamental issues on the motivation to go to sleep at the end of the day.
The game during the day, joyful positive moments of sharing, how much time he spent with basic attachment figures Independent quality passing time, variety of activities and discovery deals Was the child satisfied on such issues?
If so, is the child satisfied? If he is not, he will want to go on living, not go to sleep. Because what a child basically tries to do is grow and develop. Babies who spend the whole day at home or even in a room, children who don't get any fresh air during the day or who can't play games with their families without eyeing anything else are some examples.
Is our topic Compliance and Cooperation?
Finally, of course children sometimes have difficulty in complying with the limits and cooperating in going to sleep. After all, there are many more enjoyable options in this life 🙂
One of the most important parenting issues is to teach and maintain cooperation with a positive approach, and to prepare our children for life on borders. For this reason, families who have problems going to sleep can see similar problems.
In fact, the issue of limitation should be considered as a total parenting issue. Let's make a short introduction here;
- The issue of limiting is actually a “Building cooperation” It is a process. So it is bidirectional. Rather than being a parenting skill, behavioral is a matter of relationship.
- The child who is forced to cooperate may be having difficulty due to a need that I explained in the next paragraph. For example; did not spend quality time with his parents, or bored off at home all day, or in relationship with his parents with trust issues children may find it more / more difficult to comply with the limits. Because their troubles will complete these unmet needs.
- The issue of limiting begins by seeing the difference between the child's desire and need. Even requests, impulse control and tolerance It also sheds light on such needs. While the need to relax when it comes to sleep, the desire may be to continue the game. Another need of this child is perhaps to learn to postpone the game. While opening the doors of the world of freedoms, we also support our children to protect their needs, to postpone pleasure, to wait and to cope with these feelings when they do not want to. An important part of parenting process therefore.
- The issue of limitation is the sharing of power. Are there areas where he can use his power and need for control, while we promise to use compassionate power with compassion? 2 books before sleep I restrict reading, but can he decide which book to read? I'm directing that it's time for preparation, but does he choose to brush his teeth or toilette first? Did we share the day in the process of going to sleep and preparation?
- Are you clear? Does your body, posture, verbal and non-verbal messages tell you that it is time to sleep, that the game time is over?
- Did you recognize the transition process area? “These are the last towers, the game is over soon” such as, or in children older than “Last 10 minutes” Did we give predictive messages like? Of course, it is much more difficult for them to break away from their favorite games, environments or people in sudden transitions.
- Every time you start a dialogue from a place that understands his feelings and needs Orum I care about you, I understand ” an important detail on behalf of establishing a secure relationship for cooperation. “Time to sleep, finish the game” instead Bırakmak It's hard to quit the game, I know, we'll play again tomorrow. Now time to sleep" or Yok No laying down without brushing your teeth ” instead “Brushing your teeth is sometimes too boring for you, you know it. Let's start with our bunny teeth. (Because I know you're bored, I put a game into it, I care about you) ”allows a more positive process.
- Am I compassionate? Did I maintain a trusting environment of affection that was controlled and knew what I was doing, without feeling lost in my own emotions (anger, boredom, helplessness…), sometimes feeling, but balancing, yes? Predictable and reassuring Am I in a posture?
- Am I prepared for the negative emotions that my child can feel and express in this process? Can be angry, worried, upset ... Did I know the area of their expression? Am I afraid of his feelings, or am I there to listen to, understand and calm the difficult feelings that may arise?
In particular, these moments are opportunities for children to relax and discharge before sleep. like water leaking from the first crack they found they may want to pour out.
When faced with a limit, a reaction that seems disproportionate at the first moment, a shout, a cry is sometimes part of this relaxation process. Accumulated stress is thrown out (accompanied by a reassuring parent and compassionate) and the child relaxes. Calming comes with a relationship of trust.
In summary, as in any process, the problems we experience shed light on our parenting and the needs of our child.
Rather than “do what / how do I solve this problem? Bakmak bakmak What did this problem tell me about myself, my parenting, my relationship with my child, and my child's needs? Bakmak Much healthier processes brings along. Solutions are also more permanent because they touch the right points.
Before you go to sleep you can read our article on the books you can read to your baby. Click the link below.
// www. / Sleep from your baby-before-you-okuyabileceg-books /
Psychologist / Sleep Counselor Melis Keşan