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October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. A loss is always devastating, and getting support is crucial. After a miscarriage, it can be hard to know where to turn, particularly if you haven't made your pregnancy news public yet. Use these suggestions to help guide you as you heal.
Honor your feelings
A recent article in The New York Times emphasized that there is no correct way to feel after a miscarriage. You may feel devastated, relieved, jealous, guilty, sad, or any combination of things. All of these feelings are completely valid. In fact, any feeling is a valid feeling. Often the first step towards healing is to simply observe and honor your feelings. It can help to talk to someone about your emotions – either a friend or a therapist. If you don't feel up to talking, consider writing down your feelings. The process of writing can help you to articulate and make sense of your emotions.
Another way to share your feelings and make connections is through support groups. MEND (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death) is an organization devoted to helping women who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. They have local chapters where you can meet for support groups, as well as an online group that is open to all. Check out this list of other organizations that offer support after infant loss.
Connect with others
Connecting with people who have experienced similar losses can be a great comfort. Just sharing stories and feelings can reduce the feeling of isolation that can result from a miscarriage. Tara Shafer has a site, Reconceiving Loss, that includes a public forum for sharing stories and about infant and pregnancy loss. In the our site community, you can connect with others who have experienced a loss. Want to quickly connect with others who have been through miscarriages? Scroll through the @ihadamiscarriage Instagram account.
However you choose to cope, remember that grief is a process and you are never alone.
More resources from BabyCenter:
- Coping with pregnancy loss
- Honoring a baby who dies in pregnancy or infancy
- 5 sweet things to do for a friend who has experienced loss
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