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Today I wrote on my personal blog about the adjustment of going from one child to two. And I began to wonder if I am the only one who has dealt with this.
At 10 months old, our Calvin is an amazing baby. He is smart, he is curious, he is a great sleeper and if you ask me, he is just dang adorable. I love him. I love to take care of him and I dote on him. But the way I feel is somehow different than when I just had Oscar. Some of the excitement has worn off and I feel like it's a struggle to maintain the wonder I once felt when I held my firstborn in my arms.
Is this normal or is there some magic age where you just really get each other? I feel so connected to Oscar that it hurts my heart to think of him ever getting his heart broken or feeling left out. But with Calvin, I am not quite sure that I am there yet. Maybe it is because he is still so protected in his bubble away from harm so broken hearts and hurt feelings don't seem possible. Maybe I am still recovering from my failed VBAC and subsequent uterine rupture.
Or perhaps the fact that we have done this before has had an affect on me. These firsts, while they are still firsts for Calvin, are not firsts for me as a mother. And that seems horribly unfair to him. To think that our first child gets the excitement of new parents and all the applause and googly eyes we have to offer, but the second child gets a mama who is tired and frazzled and counting down to naptime just doesn't seem right. But at the same time, I hold on to the hope that one day we will just click.
When I was a child and I asked my parents, do you have a favorite? They would always wholeheartedly tell me that they loved us all the same. That we were all equals. That none of us was more loved than another. I believed them then, and I still do. The mystery for me is how. How can I show both of my children how special, and loved, and wanted they are?
If you have more than one child, I'd love to know how you cultivated that special bond with your 2nd (or 3rd or 4th or 5th). What are the secrets of really letting your kids know that you love them all equally?
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.