Approach to children with high emotional intelligence

Approach to children with high emotional intelligence

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Children can change at any moment. When they're cheerful for a moment, they can cry five minutes later and throw their toys in the room like an angry bull. It is very difficult to predict what they will do, especially when they are blocked. Like many parents, you may find it difficult to know how to react during these frustrating times. It's not really hard at all. All you have to do is read our article!

Experts believe these childhood collapses are actually the best opportunity to teach your child how to calm himself and control his strong emotions at an early age - when he makes leaps and improvements in his emotional development - and think that the safe circle of the family is the best and safest place to teach these life lessons. . Then what should we do? Psychologist John Gottman, in his book Yüksek Raising High Emotional Intelligence,, says that when you help your child understand and control major emotions such as anger, frustration or confusion, you will also develop his emotional intelligence department or emotional IQ.

Gottman also says that a child with a higher emotional intelligence can cope with his emotions much better than a child with a lower emotional IQ, can isolate himself from intense emotional roles, understand others, and build good relationships and shape strong friendships much more easily.

Other experts agree on the importance of emotional IQ in the importance of being confident, responsible and successful adults who successfully guide interpersonal relationships.

So, how can you help your child develop emotional IQ? Gottman teaches your child a tactic called “emotional coaching oluş, a set of steps you can use to teach your child to analyze emotions and control their conflicts. Here's how this tactic works:

• Pay close attention to your child when he / she tells you how he feels and then reflect on what he / she has shared with you.
• If you suspect that your child feels abandoned because you spend most of your time with your newborn baby, for example, ask him if everything is okay, and if he agrees with you, he says, ın You are right. Your mother really takes care of the baby..
• Then give examples from your own life to show that you understand what he says. Tell him how you feel when your own brother goes to the amusement park with your father and when you can't, and what your own parents do to make you feel better. This will tell your child that everyone can experience and experience these feelings.

Help your child name his feelings

Children often have difficulty defining their emotions because of their limited vocabulary and inability to comprehend the cause-effect relationship. You can encourage your child to create an emotional vocabulary by giving him labels to describe his feelings. If he pretends to be disappointed that he can't go to the park, you might say, ors You feel sorry for that, don't you?.

You also need to let her know that her strong feelings about things are normal to clash - for example, she may be both excited and frightened during her first week at the daycare.

If your child looks upset and upset for no reason, try looking at the big picture and thinking about what might upset him. How did you act lately? Did you and your partner ever argue with him? If you're not sure everything is going well, watch it play and listen to it.

Confirm your child's feelings

When your child becomes freaked out because he can't make a puzzle with you and has a fit of anger, accept that his reaction is normal, instead of telling him, "There's nothing to worry about." Say, ğinde When you can't finish a puzzle, it really gets on your nerves, doesn't it? In Make him feel that he has to suppress them by telling him that his reactions are inappropriate and excessive.

Turn tantrums into learning tools

If your child gets angry when he hears that he has an appointment with the dentist, prepare him for an examination to help him control his emotions. Talk to him about why he's scared, what he can expect during the exam and why he needs to go. Tell him the horror scene you once had before reciting, or the panic you experienced when starting a new job, and one of your friends made you feel better. Talking about emotions works in the same way as children do in most adults.

Use conflicts to teach problem solving

When your child goes head-to-head with you or other children, clarify the boundaries and then guide him to the solution. For example, “I know you're mad at your sister because she knocked down your wooden tower, but you can't hit her. What else could make you so angry?.

If your child has no idea, give him / her the choice. Anger control expert Lynne Namka recommends that you tell your child to check her belly, chin and fists first, take a deep breath to atmak throw out the anger olduğunda and feel happy to regain control. Then, Namka tells your child to help him use a powerful voice, to begin with, for example, orum I'm very angry when you shout like that için. Children should know that their anger is acceptable only if they do not hurt other people because of their anger.

Stay calm and set an example

You will also want to control how you react when your child expresses his or her emotions. It is important that you do not use offensive words when you are angry. Instead of saying un You're driving me crazy, deney try saying un You're making me sad when you do this, so your child will understand that the problem is not his behavior, but his behavior. Be careful to avoid excessive accusations that will undermine your child's self-confidence.

And besides, interact with your own emotions. Some parents ignore their own negative feelings, hoping to protect their children from disturbing situations and difficulties. But hiding your true feelings will only confuse your child. For example, by confessing to being angry without pretending to be angry, you can show your child that every difficult emotion can be controlled.

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