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Keeping a healthy connection with your baby is the main socio-emotional development of the first year. Specialist Psychologist Sinem Olcay from Istanbul Parenting Class,Babies come to the world with the instinct to stay close to the parent for protection and security. For parents, the bond with the baby is actually instinctive. We want to connect with our baby. We will do our best to protect our baby and ensure it is safe, to meet its needs. ”
- What is Attachment?
Attachment is a mutual, enjoyable game between the parent and the child that makes the child feel safe. We attach emotionally to the person we are connected to beyond the time and space limitation. In this relationship, there is a sense of being safe and feeling of trust. This sense of safety helps the child to explore the physical, social and emotional world. As a result of a healthy bond with the parent, a child who has developed a sense of safety will begin to trust himself and see the cat as important and valuable. Such a sense of safety and a sense of trust in the parent will also determine how the child interacts with other adults and friends and how he or she perceives the world. Children who have established a healthy trust between parents between 0 and 1 years of age experience a healthier independence process in the future. Such children are more open to learning, to discover, to have higher social skills, to communicate easily, and to express themselves in positive ways.
- Is attachment a process?
Building trust with our baby depends on having interactions that are compatible with it. Attachment is a process. It progresses step by step every day. Trying to comfort our baby every time he cries, talking to him, playing games every time he looks at our faces and wants to interact with us teaches our baby to trust us. Understanding the wishes and needs of your baby and responding to these requests and needs in any time you contribute to strengthen the bond we have established with your baby.
- Does being in the baby's distress strengthen attachment?
When a parent is upset, even if it is upset, he or she becomes a safe haven. The baby needs to feel safe. As a parent, every time we respond to our baby's crying, which is a sign of distress and sadness, we meet his need for trust. In addition, the parent helps the baby learn to regulate their feelings by controlling their feelings of distress. In order for the baby to learn to trust both parents and self-esteem, it is very important that we be able to comply with the clues given by the baby as a parent. By calming the baby upset, the parent signals the baby that he is with him and that he can safely explore the world.
In addition to understanding the baby's distress and responding to the distress, we need to be there when the baby feels well. So we only intervene when our baby cries, we try to calm down is not enough. When the baby looks at the parent's face with admiration, the parent also needs to enjoy himself. As the baby discovers new images, sounds and touches around the world, he or she asks the parent to watch him / her. The baby needs the parent to see and explain the world to him / her. Infants clearly express their desire to communicate with the parent through various behaviors (such as looking at the parent's face, extending their arms towards the parent, turning their head towards the parent, laughing, and moving the arms and legs in a gentle circular motion). At this time, babies want the parent to answer, talk, play and communicate briefly. In addition, when babies are involved with the parent, they need the parent to stay in touch by mimicking and adapting to their movements. When the baby is feeling well, the parent provides a main basis of trust by being with the baby.
- Does correct attachment improve confidence in the child?
Attachment is not something at once; it is an ongoing process and journey for the child and the special person in his life. The care you give to your baby during the first year of life will determine the nature of the bond your baby will make. Your baby can either establish a secure or insecure bond. Careful and sensitive care encourages the formation of a secure bond and the establishment of healthy first relationships. Establishing a secure bond between the parent and the baby teaches the baby to trust that his or her wishes and needs will be met by the parent. This enables him to establish healthy relationships with friends, teachers and other adults in the future and ultimately to develop self-confidence. The baby cannot learn to trust without trusting the parent. The secure bond established between the ages of 0-1 ensures healthy progress of the independence process that occurs in the future.
- Can attachment sometimes turn into addiction?
The parents' concern for the first year is im Did my baby become addicted to me? Yanl is wrong. Babies are already developmentally dependent on parents during this period. To meet every wish and need, every discovery requires parents to approve. Independence and individualization is a different stage of development that occurs as your baby grows, and the healthy progression of this process of independence is only possible through the secure bond between the baby and the parent. Infants who fail to receive compatible answers from their parents for their first year's wishes and needs and who cannot establish a healthy bond with their parents will be unhealthy and contradictory. But if you regularly meet your baby's wishes and needs in the first years of life, you will understand his clues, give them harmonious parenting, and you'll make a big contribution to establishing a secure bond with you.
İstanbul Parenting Class
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